Journal: Love and Hurt

(Musings. For some reason, I’m not feeling up to prose or poetry, so you’re getting musings from me today. Maybe I’ll have time later for a poem or a story later, but for now, deal with what was on my mind last night and is still kind of on my mind today.)

I think, perhaps, this is a quality of my getting older and more cynical and spending a lot of time at the university with people in the region of four-five years younger than me, who, you know, didn’t spend the opening years of their twenties getting, as it were, the emotional shit kicked out of them, but I’m occasionally baffled by my compatriots attitude to love.

Not that people don’t love – I see it everywhere at the uni. Relationship statuses change with the wind, the children fall in and out of it – what is startling to me is that I’m finding the younger generation seems hesitant about the concept of hurt in love.

Call me romantic, or cynical, or just world-weary, but I’ve always been of the opinion that love and hurt go hand in glove, as it were. The only way to love is to put yourself at risk of being hurt. That’s how you love. That’s how you know it’s love. Because you’re vulnerable. If you’re not letting yourself be vulnerable, why are you bothering with the relationship at all?

Yet I know people who are silly children, acting as if if they run fast enough, hard enough, they can outrun pain.

It’s not that I think they’re idiots or fools. I just think they’re not old enough, hurt enough, wise enough or worn down enough to realize that that’s not how love works.

And I’m not saying love invariably hurts you. I’m saying love is like falling from a plane: the only way to do it is to allow an element of risk.

And if you’re not comfortable with that risk, then why are you doing it?

It’s a mobius loop: the only way to love is to be okay with being hurt. The only way to be okay with being hurt is love with all you have. Trace the loop around and around and you’ll never find where it begins.

Maybe, at the end of the day, even if it’s only a few years difference, I’m just too old to get some of the younger students here.

And, for people who think I’m not being pragmatic, I do think, at the end of the day, everyone should follow the law of Fuck Yes Or No.


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